Burns Night tonight here's a wee poem for you to read before you eat your haggis.
TAE A FERT
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert working like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’bodys gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try to stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom
Good God Almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Awe whit the hell, it’s no my worry
A’body roon aboot me choking
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusing glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’re ye go let yer wind gang free
Sounds just like the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s perty
Ower the sake o’ wan wee ferty
TAE A FERT
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There sterts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
Stert working like a gentle breeze
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’bodys gonnae hae tae pay
Even if ye try to stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle
Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try and stop the leakin air
Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Prae tae God it doesnae reek
But aw yer efforts go assunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom
Good God Almighty it fairly reeks
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
Tae the bog I better scurry
Awe whit the hell, it’s no my worry
A’body roon aboot me choking
Wan or two are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusing glower
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
A dinnae feel welcome any mair
Where e’re ye go let yer wind gang free
Sounds just like the job fur me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s perty
Ower the sake o’ wan wee ferty
